


When She Brings Me Coffee, I Smile

by FrozenLights



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Annie Leonhart Character Study, Annie has nightmares, During Canon, F/F, Manga Spoilers Chapter 4 On, Mentioned Armin Arlert, Mentioned Bertolt Hoover, Mentioned Eren Yeager, Mentioned Levi Ackerman, Mentioned Mikasa Ackerman, Mentioned Reiner Braun, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Potentially Canon Adjacent, time jumps
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-26 12:21:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30105882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrozenLights/pseuds/FrozenLights
Summary: Small glimpses at poignant moments throughout Annie's time after joining the Military Police, looking at her struggle between what her role and purpose is, and how those around her (and one person in particular) challenges her perspective.__This is largely an Annie character study that focuses on her journey after joining the Military Police. I will attempt to make this as canon-compliant as possible but may change some minor details or events if it means making the story work more holistically. Chapter 4 and on will have manga spoilers, and this entire work has spoilers from the end of Season 1 and 2.
Relationships: Hitch Dreyse & Annie Leonhart, Hitch Dreyse/Annie Leonhart, Mikasa Ackerman & Annie Leonhart
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

Every rock. Every jolt. Every motion was one that almost set her off. The swaying of the wooden carriage was the only thing that kept Annie awake, her drooping eyelids begging for sleep after the long travel overnight. No matter how tantalizing the embrace of sleep seemed to Annie, every time she would momentarily slip she would immediately find regret in her choice.

_Those voices._ Everytime she was greeted by the darkness all she could hear were _those screams_. The ground trembling with every footstep the towering Titans took. The look of terror and shock in the helpless eyes of whoever managed to be scooped up by the mindless hoards. Annie grimaced at the thought of a man calling out her name, pleading for her help. 

Begging for his life.

The carriage came to a jaunting halt, causing Annie’s weary head to rise from its crooked resting position. The outside world still seemed dark, the skyline a dimmed blue. However, if she had to guess, she had finally made it to her destination.

As if confirming her suspicions, the carriage door was opened, a man holding a shimmering lantern standing outside. Annie could smell the faint trails of smoke emanating from the glass container, the flames heat resonating off the walls of the lantern. “Annie Leonhart, we have arrived.” The man declared. Annie released a quick sigh, resolved to no longer stay in the carriage. _At least I’m finally here._.

Annie made her way outside of the carriage, her eyes immediately falling onto a large stone building adjacent to the parked carriage, with flags of the Military Police stationed around the structure. In the corner of her eyes, she caught a man carrying her luggage, and every instinct in her told her to take the man down.

Catching Annie’s sudden apprehension, the man carrying the luggage gave a sheepish smile, raising his other hand in preparation. “Don’t worry about your possessions, they’ll be delivered to your room. Your presence is required in the Military Hall.” The man explained. 

Annie’s cold gaze didn’t shift, but after a few moments she sighed, “Very well.” With the tension of the moment released, the man continued to walk down the stone path, Annie’s luggage in hand. Annie watched cautiously for about half a minute before turning her attention towards the large building.

Out of everyone in the 104th Training Corps Southern Division, Annie had been the only one who chose to join the Military Police. She knew that out of all the remaining Training Corp Divisions, there was only a potential of thirty others who would be joining the Military Police today. But Annie somehow doubted a number anywhere near that big would show up today.

Every footstep toward the looming building felt like a tremor. Like the same tremors that enveloped her nightmares. Or the same ones from that decisive day five years ago. Annie fought the bile that turned over in her stomach, her eyes instinctually shutting in response.

_Why?_ Annie shuddered, his scream flooding her mind once again. _No._ She forced her eyes open, staring at the towering building before her. _I can’t dwell on that. We did what we had to do. It’ll all be worth it if I can go back home._

She forced herself to move forward again, the intimidating door to the grand building growing scarier and scarier by the minute. Annie felt nothing but disgust within herself, her teeth grinding together as if attempting to force her advance forward. However, it was all for naught as she finally reached the door. Her eyes locked on the wooden panels, the last thing she wanted to do was to open it. 

Her body betrayed her every instinct, her palm reaching out to the ebony doorhandle. Under her touch, it felt smooth, well polished. Very unlike the barracks in which the cadets stayed at the training grounds, which seemed poorly put together at best and completely unkept and neglected at worst. She could feel herself mentally tug away, almost as if the door were attempting to magnetically repulse her. But unfortunately, her body followed her original command, and she managed to open the door despite her hesitancy.

Taking cautious steps inside, the loud rummagings of others in the room perked her ears. The last thing she wanted to do was talk to anyone. But as she turned the corner she felt her heart nearly drop. 

The room had probably around thirteen people inside so far, everyone looking far too lively for how early it had been. Despite her calm demeanor on the outside, her heart started to hammer in her chest, beating against her ribcage in an incoherent pattern. In a desperate act to find solace somewhere else, landed on a cart against the far wall, with a kettle and cups.

Annie’s stomach still felt rebellious, but she decided a cup of tea would probably be preferable over having _nothing_. With her mind focused on her new objective, Annie pulled on her hood and slowly made her way to the cart. Luckily for her, no one managed to stop her along the way. 

Preparing herself a cup of tea was the easy part, but the hard part came as she looked back to the room. _Where do I sit?_ it wasn’t that there weren’t available seats, but there were only four tables in the room, and they all seemed occupied. Despite knowing she’d have to at least become acquaintances with a couple of the members, that betrayed every sense of what she felt comfortable with this early in the morning. 

That suddenly changed as a couple stood up from the far table, their bickering resonating through the room. With them departing, there were no more occupants presiding there. It wasn’t enough to make Annie smile, but a small part of her felt calmed by the idea.

Making sure to avoid bumping into anyone on the way over, Annie made tepid footsteps over to the vacant table. It appeared someone had made a mess prior, spilling their own tea across the table. Annie wasn’t shocked that they didn’t decide to clean up their mess, after all, a lot of people join the Military Police to avoid working hard. Annie did her best to ignore the spillage, she would rather take a mess over another live human any day of the week.

Annie sat against the wooden bench, her body arched forward, every muscle tense. Warm steam rose from her cup, the freshly brewed tea assaulting her senses. The sun was barely shining through the tall windows, and yet everyone in the room was so _lively_.

The pressure on the cup only increased, Annie’s hand tightening by reflex. Her eyes kept trained on the dark liquid inside the cup. She had always felt it, even with Reiner and Bertolt around, but as she sat here it only continued to build: She was now truly alone.

Annie hadn’t expected any less. In fact, she had prepared herself for this very day. She knew Reiner would be heading to the Survey Corps, and Bertolt would surely follow. She knew it was on her to find out _who_ had the Founding, and to bring them home. Yet at this moment, despite the liveliness of the room, she felt isolated.

She decided to lift her eyes and scaled her attention across the room. Everyone seemed all too joyful for their new position. Well, maybe that was wrong. The lie Annie threw out there was that she was a coward. That she decided on the Military Police so she could enjoy a comfy life outside of harm's reach. That was likely the truth for the majority of these people.

People...When did she start thinking like that? When they all first arrived it was clear as day: everyone within the walls are devils. Paradis’ way of life threatened Marley’s safety, and more importantly, her father. They needed to reunite the Nine at all costs. Everything else was mute.

So why was everything so...muddled? Why did she now even _dare_ to think of everyone within the walls as people? Everyone here was just an obstacle to Marley’s peace. Everyone here was a **devil**. Even if they didn’t know, they were complicit.

_That’s right. Everyone is complicit._

A clattering of footsteps along with obnoxious voices shook Annie from her reverie, her icy cold stare glancing around to find the culprit. It didn’t take very long as two figures, almost like oil and water, made their way over to Annie’s table. She groaned to herself, hoping with all her being that they would just walk past without sitting down with her. But Annie quickly recognized them as the duo who left this very table earlier, so she knew that result was very unlikely. 

“I can’t believe you’re really still thinking like that.” The man said with a dejected tone. His jaw was square, prominent cheekbones framing his face. He had short dark hair, cut so embarrassingly bad that Annie had to hold back a snide snicker. His black beady eyes looked off to the side dismissively, a clear irritation rising through his expression. In his hand sat a rag, most likely to clean up the mess they had left. 

“What’s it to you anyway, Marlowe? This is a time for celebration!” The woman said with extreme reverence. She had short, yet wavy, champagne-colored hair, framing the soft features of her face. Light freckles danced from cheek to cheek, decorating the bridge of her nose ever so lightly. The woman’s hazel eyes glistened against the rising sun, her long eyelashes batting to shield herself from the incoming light. 

To Annie’s misfortune, they sat across from her, promptly taking their inane squabble to the table. “Come on, we were always shooting for the top ten! So now that we finally got here you want to act _noble_?” The woman accused. The man seemed to ignore her declarations, using the rag to soak up the spilled tea.

Annie decided to just stay quiet and not interfere, picking up her hot cup and bringing the tea to her lips. As she had thought it was still too hot, but it was better than trying to intercept these two. If there was one thing she was happy about, it was the fact that they seemed to completely ignore her presence. 

The man named Marlowe, clearly irritated, immediately stood up: his coal-colored eyes flared in a rage. “This is why no one takes the Military Police seriously! We can make a _real_ difference here, and yet, there are people like _you_ who spin it to be something else!” Marlowe’s declaration caused a momentary silence to fill the room. His gaze lifted away from the woman over to Annie momentarily before he stormed away.

Everyone here hadn’t even been officially officiated into the Military Police and there was already infighting. _Great. Just what I need_.

The girl across from her let out a heavy sigh, cupping her chin in the palm of her hand. The woman’s hazel eyes glazed over in Marlowe’s direction, disappointment crossing her face. Annie found herself suddenly focused on the way the girl’s cute button nose scrunched when she was irritated, her expression seemingly lost in thought. 

The shift of those beautiful hazel eyes knocked Annie out of her reverie, as the woman had suddenly redirected her attention towards her. _Shit_ Annie thought, suddenly second-guessing if the change of attention had just happened or if the girl had long noticed how Annie was just staring at her.

“Sorry, you had to hear all that, Marlowe can be a pretty big dufus.” The woman excused, releasing another heavy sigh. Truth be told, Annie didn’t care one way or another, she just didn’t want to be involved. Annie diverted her gaze away, taking another sip of her tea, hoping that would show she wasn’t interested in talking any further. 

“Not the talkative type, are you?” The woman pointed out much to Annie’s chagrin. Annie wanted to reply with a snide remark but decided her own silence was preferable. She had so hoped that if she just ignored this girl that she’d go away all on her own. Annie trained her eyes on the glass-stained windows, glowing more and more vibrantly as the sun continued to rise. 

Unfortunately, Annie’s attention was stolen by the girl once more as the champaign-haired girl fidgeted in place: a clear uneasiness settling across her as she seemed to be waiting for any kind of response. Annie mentally berated herself for even contemplating responding to the young woman, but as the moment dragged on and on it became clear she wouldn’t get any peace and quiet until she did.

“No, I’m not.” Annie answered shortly, taking another sip of her tea, much preferring the scorched feeling of her taste buds over making conversation. The adjacent woman’s pale pink lips parted ever so slightly, and with it, the most annoying chuckle Annie had ever heard in her life. Annie attempted to shoot daggers with her eyes, but given the woman’s disposition, she doubted even that would deter her.

“Hmm, you’re a little gloomy, aren’t you? Oh well, can’t be helped. Anyway, my name is Hitch. Hitch Dreyse. We’re part of the Military Police now, let’s have some fun and relax.” She grinned, reaching out her hand.

_Fun? Relax?_ Annie detested hearing those words come from a devil of Paradis Island. While everyone at home was busy fighting a war, everyone within the walls fought for the privilege for a cozy life on the inside. This world was unjust. This world was cruel. 

_It makes me sick_. 

“Hitch, huh.” Annie said snidely, processing the name. It sounded familiar but she couldn’t quite place it. She took another sip from her cup, hoping that she could be standoffish to the point where Hitch would leave on her own accord.

“Yeah, well, what’s your name?” Hitch asked, her laid-back demeanor seemingly not affected by Annie’s cold attitude. Annie drew in a deep breath, temporarily wondering if her ego would allow herself to get up and leave.

_No, this is bigger than my ego_ , Annie reasoned with herself. _I have to find the Founding Titan. If it’s still royally passed down, it must be in Wall Sheena. I’ll have to make frie- acquaintances for now. It’s my best way forward_. Annie’s cold eyes locked on to Hitch, any sense of friendliness vacant from her expression.

“My name is Annie Leonhart.” She finally revealed.

Hitch’s eyes widened, a small smile creeping up on her face. “Oh, _you’re_ Annie Leonhart? It’s nice to finally meet you. We’re going to be roommates for the foreseeable future.” She said with a smile all too endearingly.

_That’s where I read her name from. She’s my assigned roommate._ , Annie thought with a hint of disgust. On one hand, she was glad she hadn’t completely made this devil hate her yet, but on the other, she had been dreading sharing a quarter with someone. Not like she hadn’t back when she was a Cadet, sharing a whole barrack with all the women enlisted in the southern division, but in this situation, it was something far more personal and _close_.

“Oh. Is that so?” Annie replied, doing her best to retain her composed appearance. Hitch’s lips pursed at the sight, her body leaning forward eagerly, attempting to find any sort of kink in Annie’s armor.

“Are you always so gloomy or are you just not a morning person?” Hitch asked outright. Annie sighed again, setting down her teacup. The last thing she wanted to do was have an _actual_ conversation with this girl, but despite that fact, there was something that egged her on, something that made her want to reply.

Annie’s lips parted, and in that moment she instantly wished she could hit herself. If she took this next step then she’d be just like Reiner and Bertolt. They got so friendly with those in the Cadets that they decided to split up their party. Of course, it was good to have eyes in multiple places, so she wasn’t against the idea of them splitting up, but it did throw another wrench into their plans.

_Just like this one._

“What do you want from me?” Annie asked dismissively. She instantly regretted even opening up her mouth, but on the other hand, she had hoped she had been dismissive enough to dissuade Hitch from pestering her further. 

If the smile that was widening on Hitch’s face were any indicator, it seemed to have the opposite effect. Annie took another sip of her tea, bracing herself for the forced interaction to come.

“Hmm, what do I want? I just want to be your friend.” Hitch offered. Annie’s eyes narrowed momentarily towards the opposite woman, releasing the teacup and setting it down on the table. For some reason, hearing those words seemed unthinkable to Annie. After all, they were complete strangers. Why should Hitch want to be her friend?

One look into Hitch’s hazel eyes caused Annie to pause. They sparkled with apprehensive enthusiasm, searching for any signs of hope to be sieged. Annie felt herself soften at that moment, her shoulders relaxing despite the initial resistance.

“We just met and you want to be my friend? ...We’ll see.” Annie replied open-endedly, diverting her gaze as to not get drawn in by Hitch once more. A dry chuckle escaped Hitch’s mouth, and Annie was already starting to regret it. Annie’s fists balled tight, doing her best to retrain her mind. She needed to remember why she was here: Everything she had done… **everything**...would be worth it in the end.

“Attention, recruits!” A voice boomed out across the hall, stealing both their current thoughts. Annie was thankful for the sudden intrusion as whatever words that seemed to be on the tip of Hitch’s tongue were suddenly hampered by the commanding voice.

_I can’t allow myself to get distracted. I’m here for one reason and one reason only. As long as I get back home...that’s all that matters._

__________________________

Annie pushed open the door to her new room, with Hitch followed closely behind her. As they had been informed at the meeting, fitted uniforms would be waiting for them in their rooms, along with their transported luggage.

Annie had expected small confines, but this room had been far smaller than Annie anticipated. 

Immediately upon entering the room Annie had seen a wooden dresser to the right, quaint in overall size. _It appears we have to share a closet._ There was a desk just beyond the wardrobe, adjacent to the window on the far wall. Opposite the wall of the wardrobe had been the bunk beds, with Military Police uniforms folded and placed on the bottom bunk. The brown leather jackets were embedded with the insignia of the Unicorn, the same insignia which labeled all the flags. 

Annie paced over and grabbed at one of the jackets, the material tougher and more well kept than the ones the training cadets received. _Well, that makes sense given how so few make it to the Military Police. Only the best for those that make it I suppose._

“Hmm, are we really going to have to wear these every day?” Hitch complained, grabbing at her own uniform. Annie stared at her with a droll look, unamused with her thoughts being unceremoniously broken. “Didn’t you have to wear your cadet uniform every day?” Annie accused.

A red hue grew along Hitch’s cheeks, her eyes widening at the sudden question. She threw the uniform back down to the bed in a hurry, frustration growing in her expression as every second passed. “Well- You know! Those three years were the hard part! I just thought-... I thought that I’d be able to take it easy.” She admitted softly at the end, a moment Annie found unique from the normally overbearing woman.

“You want to take it easy while others are dying? The least you can do is wear a uniform.” Annie spoke harshly, picking up Hitch’s uniform and placing it on the desk behind them. Hitch just stared at Annie incredulously, her gaping mouth silent as she struggled to put together a coherent sentence. “Wha-what are you doing?!” Hitch stammered. 

“I’m going to rest my eyes, and your uniform was in the way. We have our official commencement ceremony tonight and I’d like to be well-rested for it.” Annie explained, making her way back to the bottom bunk and sitting down. Annie unzipped her knee-high boots and slipped them off, placing them to the side of her bed frame before crawling on top of the top comforter, finally resting on her side.

“You-you're going to sleep? It seems you’re the one who's ‘taking it easy'.” Hitch accused, crossing her arms. Annie did her best to ignore her roommate, and instead, closed her eyes and allowed the darkness to wash over her.

After a few short moments, it seemed Hitch gave up, her footsteps heard on the ladder as she climbed up to the top bunk. It seemed that Hitch had decided to abandon having any sort of argument.

_Perfect_.

Annie could feel her mind drift as the darkness consumed her. It was quiet at first, the only thing she could pinpoint were the flapping wings of a nearby bird. Followed by a chirp.

It sounded peaceful for once.

_The morning light shimmered through the expansive treetops, the morning mist settled close along the ground. Annie could smell the fresh dew along the grass, the same smell she associated every morning when she went to go train._

_“Annie!” A voice called out to her. Annie turned her head, but the source of the voice was nowhere to be found. The morning mist continued to settle, and with it, a creeping ire._

_“Annie!” It resounded, stronger this time. Sweat started to drip from her forehead and she hadn’t even started to work on her techniques. Her eyes gazed around the forest once more, attempting to find the source of the noise._

_Then there it was. The wooden cabin Annie had found herself all too familiar with, just on the outskirts of the tall trees. Despite being in the distance, Annie could see the details of the encampment all too clearly. With it, she could see the wooden door frame, shaking as the door attempted to be thrown from its hinges._

_“ANNIE!” The voice screamed this time, and now Annie’s legs were running. She rushed to the cabin faster than she thought possible, her hands grabbing at the doorknob in desperation. “Father!” She yelled out for the first time, not even phased by the sentiment which escaped her lips. No, the desperation in her father's voice overrode any other sentiment. She needed to get to him._

_**Now**._

_The door burst open, but Annie’s body trembled as her eyes laid on the inside walls of the Trost District. Sounds erupted in her eardrums, blades clattering to the ground, helpless screams surrounding her._

_It felt like she had opened her eyes again._

_She was back out there on that cloudy day. The day Wall Rose was broken. The day they attempted to bring the Founding Titan out of hiding._

_But that isn’t the only thing that happened._

_She had seen it all._

_So many hopeless cadets got eaten._

_Those who she had trained with. Those with whom she shared meals with._

_She shouldn’t be caring for these people, and yet-_

_“Annie!” A voice yelled from the void. Her eyes went wide as she witnessed Bertolt and Reiner pinning Marco down, attempting to remove his 3D Maneuver Gear._

_Annie felt sick to her stomach at the sight as she joined the others, absolutely baffled at what to do. She stared hopelessly at the desperate situation, unwilling to move her limbs in order to damn the man._

_But then Reiner’s order came, and she felt a will overtake her senses. One she couldn’t control. She had no choice._

_It was the only way for her to get back home._

_And so she did it._

_She stripped him of his gear, and she, along with Bertolt and Reiner, got away._

_Marco’s screams only got louder, the weight on her mind becoming harder and harder to ignore. Her heart faltered for a moment as she turned around, fear taking hold of her gaze. She saw the man being picked up by the ready titan, who looked all too eager for its next meal._

_She felt sick. She felt **wrong**. This was a devil. Why should she care for a devil? And yet she didn’t want him to die._

_But Annie’s eyes widened once more, her stomach dropping to the floor as she stared at the man in the Titan’s hand._

_It wasn’t Marco._

_It was Marcel._

_“Wha-!” Annie yelled, but before she could do anything he was eaten. He was gone._

_Just like that._

_And it was all her fault._

Annie’s eyes opened, for real this time, as she was greeted to the wooden campus of her bed frame. Her heart was racing and she could feel a sickly sweat drip down her body, but that wasn’t the worst of it. Her extended palm had been clasped in a hand, 

Hitch’s to be exact.

Annie quickly retrieved her hand, pulling it from Hitch’s grasp. “What do you think you’re doing?” Annie asked accusingly, doing her best to calm her heart.

“What am I doing? You were mumbling in your sleep. I couldn’t get an ounce of shuteye. Then you started to squirm and you seemed scared, so I thought you could use a little comfort.” Hitch said with an annoying smile.

Annie wanted nothing more than to wipe that smile off her face. But more importantly, it had at least seemed that she hadn’t said anything incriminating. The last thing she needed was for Hitch to hear something she said in her sleep.

Lest she becomes like...Marco…

“It’s nothing. I don’t need sleep anymore.” Annie stood up defiantly, scooting herself out of the bed and walking towards the window. Hitch didn’t seem to believe her but decided it best not to push the situation. 

With a deep breath, Annie kept her gaze focused on the outside city: These nightmares… **everything** would be worth it. It had to be. 

_It will be worth it if I make it back home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I have always loved Annie's character and I recently got caught up on both the anime and manga so I knew I had to write a story featuring her.
> 
> If you enjoyed don't be afraid to leave a comment, I love talking to my readers!
> 
> Also for those of you who follow me for my LoL fics, don't worry, I still have a couple planned out, and I'm also writing for the KDA Fanzine! So if you're interested in that content be on the lookout for that when it releases later this year!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter jumps ahead and takes place between Chapters 30 and 31 after Annie has failed in capturing Eren during the 57th Expedition.

Whispers of the cool night whisked across Annie’s pale skin, her once still figure now shivering against the frigid wind. Lanterns glistened against the stony pathways, the ever-reaching darkness abated by the licking flames. 

Footsteps echoed against the pavement, each one more haunting than the last. The last remnants of tears found themselves clinging to her cheeks. No matter how much she wiped they wouldn’t go away, the stained tears continued to flow down her face freely.

The last thing she could remember vividly was Mikasa and the Scout Captain, Levi attacking her. She had Eren. She had _actually_ captured Eren. She was _so_ close to retrieving him. If she had succeeded, all she’d need to do from there was find the Founding titan and bring them home.

But that isn’t what ate up at her. It wasn’t her failure.

It was _the mission_.

Marco was just the first of many in a long chain of events. She had killed so many…

_And it could have been worse._

She could have killed Armin. She _almost_ killed Mikasa.

“Ackerman…” Annie whispered under her breath, another cold shiver running down her body. She wanted to vomit just thinking about it. It was for this reason why she didn’t want to get attached to anyone, why she always sat alone and pushed everyone away. Yet, she couldn’t execute when she needed to do it most.

_...Why?_

Annie approached the Military dormitories, surprised to see the lack of personnel staffed around the building. _Are they tending towards the Scouting Regiment?_ Whatever the case, Annie was appreciative for the lack of guards as she made her way inside, quietly heading towards her room.

The door to her room was strangely unlocked. _Is Hitch out?_ Annie thought to herself, yet another obstacle she’d rather not deal with tonight. The last thing she wanted was for Hitch to try and interrogate why she was out so late. 

But as she opened to her room her initial suspicions were unfortunately incorrect. With a lit lantern flickering at the windowsill, Annie could see Hitch sitting on the bottom bunk, her legs fully stretched out with an empty bottle of wine displayed on the floor. If Annie hadn’t known any better she would have guessed that Hitch was waiting for her.

“Look who finally decided to show. How was your _sick_ day?” Hitch asked with a bottle of wine in the palm of her hand. Annie was painfully aware of the tears that were still slicking her cheeks and found momentary appreciation in the fact that Hitch didn’t press her about it. 

Annie decided to just ignore Hitch, moving through the messy yet small room until she reached the windowsill. Annie removed her jacket, throwing it messily next to her laundry basket. After unzipping her long brown boots Annie dredged her eyes over to Hitch who appeared to have no plans of moving off Annie’s bed.

“It’s been a long day,” Annie said coldly, hoping her intensity would be enough to get Hitch off her bed. Unfortunately for Annie, the sly giggle that left Hitch’s throat indicated she wasn’t letting her off the hook. 

“So, who was it? How was **he**? Given your expression, I take it didn’t go very well.” Hitch teased. Normally Annie would silently brush off these sorts of comments, but tonight she wasn’t in the mood.

“Get off my bed before I force you.” Annie warned.

“Ooh, scary. Something _really_ bad must have happened. It’s hard for me to believe someone as tough as you could be taken advantage of though-” Hitch continued to run her mouth, receiving a killer glare from Annie.

Annie wasn't sure what was more incriminating, the bottle and half of wine that Hitch had drunk or the strong scent of alcohol coming off her breath, but either way Annie didn't want to have to take care of her roommate. **Especially** after today. “You’re drunk. Go to bed.” Annie tried to deflect, hoping that would put an end to the conversation. 

“Ooh, I still have half a bottle. How about it sour-puss, drink with me.” Hitch offered, shaking the bottle in her right hand. Despite every painful thought in Annie’s head screaming for her to lay down, a part of her found enticed by the crimson liquid which sloshed inside the bottle.

Annie felt stupid even considering something like this. After everything she had done, the absolute last thing she needed to be doing is getting drunk with Hitch. But Hitch’s smile only seemed to grow as the silence dredged on, causing Annie’s nerves to stand on edge. 

With a decisive huff, Annie sat down next to Hitch, holding out her hand for the half-finished bottle. Hitch’s eyes widened before passing the bottle as quickly as possible, almost as if the option would disappear if she didn’t give it to Annie fast enough. 

“I never thought a boring girl like you would take me on my offer. Maybe there’s more to you than I thought.” Hitch hiccuped. Annie briefly wondered if Hitch would be able to remember any of this in the morning. For her own sake, she hoped Hitch wouldn’t be able to. 

Just one swig of the bottle nearly made Annie gag, it tasted sickly sweet with an undertone of berries. Annie normally liked sweets, but for an alcoholic beverage, this was too much. She wondered how Hitch had gotten drunk off of something so saturated. 

“Hmm,” Hitch mused with a slight hum just as Annie took her first sip, “how about we liven things up. Every time we take a drink we ask each other questions.” Hitch asked, leaning against Annie’s stiff body. Annie was tempted to brush Hitch off, but given Hitch's current state, Annie wondered if she'd be unable to sit back up. Annie's lips twisted irritatedly, _Why am I feeling compassionate **now** of all times?_.

“You want to play a drinking game? Fine.” Annie spoke dryly, her eyes glancing towards the window distractedly. 

An accomplished hum escaped Hitch’s lips, “Well since you just drank, I’ll start! What’s the first name that pops into your mind?” Hitch asked luridly. Annie shoved the bottle back over to Hitch, quickly lamenting to what she had just agreed to. 

Annie’s rough nature seemed to only provoke Hitch further. Annie cursed herself internally, every action she took seemingly only egging Hitch on further. “Oh, it must be that boy that you’re thinking about! Especially if you’re so hesitant-! Now you **have** to tell me!” Hitch insisted.

Annie turned her head irritatedly to look out the window, trying to find any solace with the night sky outside. Hitch’s body only continued to press more into Annie’s, refusing to give her a moment of peace to think for herself. With a dissatisfied sigh, Annie turned her attention back to Hitch, saying the only thing that she thought would save her from Hitch’s drunken questionnaire. “The first name I thought of was _Hitch_. There, I answered your question, let me go to bed.” Annie replied shortly.

“Ah-ah! You can’t get off the hook that easily! My name doesn’t count! What’s the second name that pops into your head?” Hitch asked, her teasing growing by the minute. Annie dragged her vision back to the window hoping for some sort of reprieve.

Unfortunately, the only thing she could remember was the long and lonely trek back through Wall Sheena. The way her cheeks were stained with tears as she thought about all the people she had killed. And how so many more lives could have been lost.

And for what?

For the mission? For Marley? For her father?

Annie found herself back at that moment. She was charging through the giant forest, Eren in her jaw. And then she saw it. A blur. 

_Mikasa_.

It all happened so fast. She had been toppled. Her vision was stolen. Her mission _failed_.

_Ackerman tried to kill me...and I…_

Annie blinked, finding herself back in the room with her annoying roommate as fresh tears danced down her cheeks. Hitch at least still had the common decency to not comment on it, and that was something that allowed Annie to lower her guard, if even for just a moment. “If I tell you, will you let me go to bed?” Annie asked dryly, now willing to compromise if it meant she could finally put this day behind her.

“Okay, now I **have** to know what his name is. Is it someone I know?” Hitch asked eagerly. Annie finally refocused her eyes on Hitch, a drunken blush crossing her lightly freckled face. 

“I’ve told you there is no _him_. The second name on my mind is Mikasa Ackerman. Now let me go to bed.” Annie insisted. 

Truth be told Annie wasn’t sure why she hadn’t just flipped Hitch off her mattress. Annie tried to convince herself that it was because she needed to keep up appearances after failing her mission, but she knew that wasn’t the only reason.

Hitch’s jaw hung for a moment, the answer completely surprising her before her original drunken candor returned. “Woah, you’re seeing a girl? Didn’t take you for the type.” Hitch grinned, leaning once more playfully into Annie.

Annie wasn’t sure why that had been the straw that broke the camel's back, but before she knew it Hitch had been shoved off her back, shoved directly into the adjacent bedpost with finality. “No, I-!” But it seemed Hitch was done listening to Annie. She brought the bottle up to her lips and started drinking. Annie could only watch as Hitch finished the rest of the bottle.

“Would you look at that- it’s-” another hiccup interrupted her speech, “-it’s empty.” Hitch slurred drunkenly, their prior interaction seemingly already a thing of the past. Hitch’s smile widened, “So, what question do you have for me?” She asked.

“When will you let me go to bed?” Annie asked plainly.

Hitch’s lips temporarily shaped into a pout, her eyebrows furrowing with minor annoyance. “Hmpf, I thought the alcohol would loosen you up, but you’re still your normal gloomy self.” She admitted irritably. “Oh well, at least I got _one_ thing out of you tonight.” Hitch grinned before standing up, throwing the now empty bottle on the ground. 

_Now there’s two,_ Annie observed as the second bottle clanging into the first one. Hitch made her way up the ladder, each footstep on the creaking wood causing Annie’s heart to jump. 

Truth be told, Annie had anticipated feeling some sense of relief once her body hit the comfort of her bedsheets. To be able to finally lay down after this disastrous day. But the touch of the soft fabrics made her stomach boil, her skin recoiling on impact. 

_Why?_

Annie’s eyes dropped down to the bottle of wine laying on the floor, wanting to place immediate blame on the small amount of alcohol she drank. _Don’t be stupid, I had little more than a sip. I know it’s not that._ Annie berated herself, forcing herself to lay flat against the bed.

_Why do I even try to close my eyes?_ Annie stared straight at the support beams of the above bunk, Hitch’s slight snore already starting to infest the room like a swarm of mosquitoes buzzing annoyingly around her ears. For a moment Annie wondered if she should make sure Hitch was sleeping on her side, but quickly decided that would be a line of friendliness she didn’t want to cross today.

_Really? When did I start to care..._ Annie started to chew on the inside of her cheek, her eyes feeling like they were about to swell. _I’m just like you, aren’t I? Reiner...Bertolt…_

Annie stretched her left hand out in front of her face, her half-lidded eyes studying her palm with sudden intrigue. It had been with this very hand that she had almost ended it. 

Mikasa’s life that is. 

She was ready to swat her away like all the rest.

_All the rest…_

The tears that had previously stained her cheeks came flooding again unprompted. Her lips quivered against her control, the palm she was staring at trembling as the reality of the day washed over her. _If only I succeeded...if only I got him...We’d be one step closer to returning home. Everything I’ve done...it would have been worth it...right?_

Annie continued to stare at her palm, remembering the sight of the forest green cloak pinched ever so lightly between her fingers. She remembered pulling the hood back and seeing the sunlight bounce off the man’s short blonde hair. Annie had known in that moment it wasn’t Eren under her palm. It was Armin.

She could have taken Armin out just like all the others.

_So why did I let him live?_

No, it was obvious as to why. The devils of Paradis Island were bad, there was no question about that; but did that mean they deserved to die? 

All her life, Annie had been taught that Eldian's were going to bring the end of Marley as she knew it. The only way to save her home would be to become a warrior and recover the Founding Titan. Anything short of that could lead to the destruction of their home.

But what they found when they infiltrated the walls was that either the inhabitants were willfully ignorant about their bloody history, or, more likely, that information was being kept from them purposefully. 

So were the Eldians living inside the walls to blame? Not directly, no. That, of course, was something Annie came to grips with long ago. But that didn’t mean they deserved her respect or attention. Or that’s what she had thought anyway.

Everyone in the walls, and even those back at Marley, are all the same. They’re fighting and acting in their own interests to further their own survival. The Eldians hide within their walls, hoping to recede further so that they don’t have to put themselves into harm’s way. It’s a cowardly move, and it forces others to give their lives so they can live a cushy life within the inner walls. Does that make the Eldians bad? Of course. But they’re just doing what they need to do to survive. That makes them _regular people_.

Not devils. **People**.

Annie had long given up any hope for her own conscious. The last day she had any hope for herself was the day she witnessed Marco die. It had been all her fault, but if she didn’t take his 3D Maneuver Gear then she would have been found out, and their mission would have failed.

Through blurred eyes Annie continued to stare at her palm, her breath hitched in her throat. _We’re bad too...How could we not be?_ Annie reminisced, thinking of both Reiner and Bertolt as well as herself. _Marcel was the lucky one out of us, huh?_

Her hand flexed, fingers digging into her palm. _No, that’s wrong. We may be bad, but I’m just the same as everyone else...I’m just a regular person. All I need to do is survive and return home. That’s all that matters._

That goal, however, seemed impossibly far away now. Annie lowered her palm, using it to wipe the stream of tears down her now flushed cheeks. After today, she knew there was no going back, there was no taking back what she did. _There is only one way forward...I have to do it. **This all has to mean something.**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel a little twisted posting a chapter like this on Annie's birthday, but what can you do? 
> 
> If you have the time and feel compelled to do so, please don't be afraid to leave a comment! I love talking to readers about characters and the story (especially these ones!). Also if anyone would like to follow me on Twitter, my Twitter is [@KindredTea](https://twitter.com/KindredTea).
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first couple paragraphs take place after Chapter 31, but the majority of the chapter takes place after the events of Chapter 90.

Darkness. Cold. Emptiness.

At first, there had been so much chatter. Footsteps marching around. So many voices lifted towards her.

But the one thing she heard, over metal scraping, over the screams, over the tumbling of wooden wheels over stone pavement had been the single word: “Coward”.

That word played in Annie’s mind over and over again like a hammer to her heart. Annie never once called herself brave, but in that moment she had to place all her cards on the table.

Her final gambit.

But it was all lost. _Everything_.

There were **so many voices**. So many distracting and competing noises. The chipping of blades sounded against the crystal's hard exterior, each pulse causing Annie’s still-body to jolt internally.

Yet she couldn’t react.

Annie wasn’t sure if she was living in some messed up dream, eternal darkness surrounding her with vague threats, hitched voices, and booming forces used against the crystalline structure to try and set her free. As expected, all attempts seemed to be nullified by her protective armor, and it felt as if everyone went back to ignoring her.

That was when Annie began to lament the prison of her own making. 

The days turned into weeks. The weeks turned into months. Annie’s mind reeled at the eternal slumber she had induced on herself.

No one continued to visit her, at least no one she recognized. The patterns of footsteps in the echo-chamber were the only thing she heard for so long. The only time real silence was broken was when presumably a different guard went to take another's shift.

Annie wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but that all changed one fateful day. A new set of footsteps could be heard walking down those same stone steps Annie heard every guard take, but this time they sounded different. A little less forceful? More careful?

She could hear this person's hesitant breath. They seemed unsure of where they should be. Annie couldn’t make anything from those simple clues alone. But as a gasp left the person’s mouth, Annie could almost immediately place who the voice belonged to.

_Armin Arlet_

His footsteps were timid as they slowly grew louder, no doubt walking up to the crystal. If Annie could frown she would, remembering the day she sought out Eren. Then the day where she was forced to run.

**Forced to fight.**

Armin stared at her with such...worried eyes. _When did he start looking at me like that?_ That day often played in her mind over and over again, thinking of what she could have done differently. But she always came to the same conclusion: it was inevitable. 

“I...I don’t know why I came here…” Armin spoke softly, his voice trembling slightly. Under normal circumstances, Annie would have either walked away or ignored him. Here though she had no choice but to silently listen. “A...A couple days ago...we fought at the Shiganshina District. We fought against Reiner...and Bertolt…” Armin admitted.

Armin’s voice hitched at that moment, the sound of her comrade's names sending a sense of surprise through her. _They were found out too? There goes my only hopes of escape._ Armin took another deep breath, his voice still as shaky as before. “Bertolt...I ate Bertolt. I have the power of the Colossal Titan now...I...it shouldn’t have been me...it really shouldn’t have...and despite everything, I feel so twisted. Bertolt is dead...and I-”

“Armin, we have to go.” A cold voice that belonged none other than Mikasa spoke out. Annie suddenly didn't even have time to process the death of Bertolt as her last _real_ memory played in her mind painfully.

_Please fall, Annie_

Those words marked the moment where any remnants of hope were crushed. Annie could remember staring into those steeled hazel eyes, her look was not one of anger or hatred: it was of cold necessity. 

“You’re right...sorry.” Armin sniffled, the rummaging of fabric sounded had been likely Armin wiping away his tears. Annie felt herself recoil internally, sad that the conversation was cut so short. Very rarely had she been given the comfort of someone's voice. Armin changed that today, and even that small respite was ripped from her. 

Annie felt her heart drop as soon as Armin’s footsteps paced away, the silent void around her serving as another stark reminder that she'd be imprisoned in solitude for who knows how long. Annie wondered why Armin had even bothered to stop to visit her. By all accounts she was no longer “a good person” to him, so why even give her the time of day?

 _Well, it’s not like they know I can hear them._ Annie lamented internally. She wondered if it would change in the slightest if they knew she could. Maybe they’d cut off all communication. Or maybe many more people would try talking to her, to try and coax her out of the crystalline shell-

**THUMP**

Pressure. Annie could feel _pressure_ against the front of the crystal. Something, or someone, was pushing against it. It felt like a rampage of butterflies in her stomach as the light pressure continued to exert its presence. At that moment Annie wished she could open her eyes, to see who or what was standing just outside the crystal.

Truth be told it defied all logic to her, and for a moment Annie considered she was just making this feeling up. After all, she had heard no footsteps approach the crystal. As the silence dredged on Annie found herself slowly convincing herself that this sensation had been nothing but her imagination.

“Annie…” Mikasa spoke out, her chilling voice causing Annie’s mind to wipe blank at that moment. _Mikasa_. Outside of Bertolt and Reiner, Annie probably felt the closest to Mikasa during her training with the 104th Training Cadets unit. She decidedly didn’t want to make any friends, but during their time together they both pushed one another. Some even viewed them as rivals. 

_In another life we could have even been friends_ , Annie thought, reeling the consequences of her failure.

“It has been a while, hasn’t it?” Mikasa spoke softly for a moment, her voice with a touch of endearment that Annie hadn’t expected. “Last time we talked I told you I was going to shred you to pieces. Since then we’ve found out you were working with Reiner and Bertolt. In all those conflicts I never once hesitated to cut them down. But…” Mikasa released a sigh, her hand gliding against the crystal.

“It’s not easy. You all...were our comrades. I do what I do to protect Eren. To protect his dream. And I’ve vowed to cut anyone who stands in his way down. But you three…” Her voice cracked, and with it, the hand on the crystal started to tremble.

“That day in the Training Corps kitchen...the day that I returned your ring to you...I really meant what I said back then: I wished the day wouldn’t come where you’d have to use it. I cannot even imagine what pushed you and the other two to do all this, but-” Mikasa’s voice hitched, one of the rare times where she sounded truly vulnerable. “-I miss you.” Mikasa confessed fully. 

Annie wondered if Mikasa would have opened up like this if she knew Annie could hear every single word she was saying. Probably not. Annie found herself thankful for her frozen state, as she probably would have been unable to find an appropriate response under normal circumstances.

Mikasa’s trembling stopped, and after a deep breath, she seemed to regain her composure. “And...that’s all I have to say. I don’t imagine we’ll ever talk again, Annie Leonhart.” Mikasa’s original cold demeanor returned. Annie could feel her heart drop once more at the solemn words, with Mikasa’s audible footsteps descending away from the crystalline structure.

Annie lost track of time once more. Guards shifts were typically the only thing ever of note. Luckily for her, Armin’s visits started to become more frequent. At first, he would lament his guilt. His insecurities. His doubts. But then he started sharing news of the world. Their findings. And eventually, everyday pleasantries: Everything from what he was going to eat that day to some of his deeper secrets.

Once again Annie had wondered if he would confess all of this if he knew she could hear him, but for the time being, she was appreciative that he would stop by. Most of all, it allowed her to keep track of how much time had passed.

He wasn’t the only one to visit her. Most guards would march, stand in their designated position for their shift, and leave just as silently as they came. These periods of time were the worst Annie had found. However, late one night a new set of footsteps could be heard echoing through the halls.

They seemed tempered at first, but as they approached Annie could hear a clear gasp. Whoever was visiting her was surely surprised to see her.

“Annie- so it’s true.” A voice spoke out in disbelief. This voice had been normally filled with sarcastic and dry joy with a hint of everlasting teasing, but today it felt aghast and shocked. It had been a while, but Annie definitely recognized who it belonged to.

And after all, how couldn’t she? Hitch was her former roommate after all. 

“To think we’d meet again under these circumstances. Truth be told, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect after I had been assigned to this position, but…” Hitch’s voice cracked, “-It’s good to see you again, Annie.” Hitch admitted. 

For some reason, those words made Annie’s heart swarm with warmth. Annie had completely expected everyone and anyone to hate her, to turn their back on her, but here was Hitch, seemingly happy to see her. _She missed me_. 

“You know, the one nice thing about having the room all to myself is that I can have boys over whenever I want. I’m sure you’re jealous, huh, Annie?” Hitch laughed dryly, still not much positivity within her personality.

Annie wondered if being trapped in this crystal made others sympathetic to her. She couldn’t logically think of any other reason why everyone who visited her seemed to be talking to her as if giving their condolences. _I’m not dead. I’m still here._

“Oh, that’s right. The night before you _disappeared_ you told me you liked girls, right?” Hitch asked. Annie wished she could correct Hitch at that moment, but since she was unable to respond she knew all she could do was sit tight and let Hitch talk. More importantly, Annie found herself surprised that Hitch was even able to remember that night given how drunk she seemed.

“It’s just like old times, huh? I’ll talk and talk and talk and you’ll just sit there silently. You were always so gloomy. You always tried to keep to yourself. I think...I think I understand _why_ now.” Hitch admitted. “You were crying that night. I didn’t want to question why, I thought you were blown off by the love of your life or something. But now I understand _everything_...What you did was wrong. What you’ve done is **evil**. Marlowe...that idiot...he died fighting your **buddies**. Tell me, is this what you truly wanted? For all of us to die?" Hitch hissed, her throat once again getting caught on her own breath. "

Annie could feel herself wince at these accusations. She had thought things were going so well, but this was just another painful reminder of all the heinous acts she had committed. If she could, fresh tears would likely have been streaming down her cheeks already. But not for one moment did Annie believe she didn't deserve this.

Her father even prepared her for this. _Even if every creature in the world hates you..._

“...but…” Hitch’s voice picked back up, and with it, a little optimism in Annie’s heart, “I also saw how much it ate you up inside. I don’t know _why_ you did it, but I do know that you _regret_ it. It doesn’t forgive everything you’ve done but...but...I know somewhere in there...is a **good person**...my roommate...and I won’t give up on you.” Hitch declared with a sense of seriousness she normally lacked. 

Those same words that Armin used. _Good person_. Annie felt disgusted. _I'm not a good person_.

Annie felt touched, but at the same moment, she felt despair. There was no future for her _anywhere_. Anything short of a suicide run by Reiner and Zeke would be able to bring her back home. She wouldn’t be able to reunite with her father. No one in the walls besides Hitch _and maybe_ Armin would stand by her, nor should they. 

_It was hopeless._

The rest of Hitch’s visit consisted of gossip and other general news that floated around the MPs, most of which Annie didn’t care too much for. Luckily for her, Hitch had been stationed as her guard more and more often. 

Not only that, but Armin’s visits started to become more frequent. All in all, there was hardly a day where one of the two didn’t come and talk to her. Despite the desperate circumstances, that was all Annie could hope for.

_Thank you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really excited by the prospect of telling a chapter from the perspective of Annie being trapped in the crystal. It was an interesting writing challenge as most of her senses are nullified by the crystal. I couldn't resist adding a bit of MikAnnie (even if the main pairing of this fic will be HitchAnnie), there was no way I couldn't address the "Please fall, Annie" moment, so that was one I was very happy to have featured.
> 
> Next chapter on will have spoilers from the manga! I'll put a warning at the top for the following chapter too.
> 
> Once again if you wish to follow me on twitter, it's [@KindredTea](https://twitter.com/KindredTea). Otherwise, thank you all so much for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of this chapter take place between Chapter 125 and 126. Manga spoilers everywhere from this point on.

The fading light of day dimmed far beyond the horizon, the silhouettes of the marching Colossal Titans distance making the land tremble with every step. “Let’s stop here for now.” Annie’s voice spoke ruggedly, her body already fatigued from the short distance they had traveled that day.

The horse they rode reared harshly as Hitch pulled back, its coarse brown fur ruffling under Annie’s tepid touch. Annie did her best to hold on to the reeling animal, but as soon as it stabilized itself Annie came slipping to the ground.

She found herself collapsed again, her body weak to the world around her. It had been just like when she heard Eren’s declarative voice, the Titan hardening which had crystallized around her had been undone. It was the exact same. No matter the distance, _nothing had changed_.

“Annie!” Hitch’s voice yelped in a fit of surprise as she carefully got off the stationed horse, running over to Annie’s side.

Annie’s head spun as she stared at the darkening sky. She knew what Hitch had said was likely true: That by the time they reached Liberio it would be turned all to dust. After all, there was no way they’d be able to outrun _that_. 

Her stomach twisted and turned as she focused on the looming threat. Everything that they fought to prevent...wasted. All the lives she’s ended...wasted. Her promise to her father… _wasted_.

“Here, hold on to me-” Hitch offered, wrapping Annie’s arm around her shoulder before pushing herself off the ground. Annie mindlessly complied, allowing herself to be lifted by her former roommate.

Annie’s lips twitched, the urge to thank Hitch on the tip of her tongue. But instead, she held her lips tight, refusing to utter the words. Hitch gave Annie a soft smile, a cute chuckle radiating just under her breath. “I never thought I’d see you so tired. Fine, let’s get you inside.”

Luckily for Annie, Hitch decided to do all the talking. Given the chaos of the ensuing day, Annie didn’t find it surprising that Hitch could get them a room at this hotel. Everyone was trying to flee, no one was trying to stay put. Well, no one besides _suicidal idiots_.

The sound of a jacket hitting the floor was the first sign of realization that they had moved into the room, Annie’s thoughts completely caught up by the events of the day. Taking a small glance at the room, it seemed to be rather barren, probably not too big of a shock given how desolate the world seemed right now. Annie found herself sitting by the windowsill as night overtook the sky, the towering distant figures of the Titan’s dimming in the horizon.

_There is no point._

After all, Eren was going to destroy the world just to save Paradis. Stopping a power like that seemed...impossible. Catching up to it even less so. They were wasting time just by resting here, but Annie knew they had no choice. _It’s because of me we can’t continue...I’m just as weak as always...It’s just another failure._

“What’s wrong? Don’t tell me you already got four years' worth of talking over with?” Hitch asked with annoyance on the tip of her tongue. 

“There’s nothing else to talk about.” Annie hissed, turning her attention back towards the window.

“Nothing else to talk about?! You can’t possibly mean that!” Hitch's temper flared, taking a sturdy step taken forward. 

Annie turned with pointed eyes to face Hitch, her lips twisting in frustration. “What do you want to hear from me then?!” Annie yelled back in an uncharacteristic loss of cool. Normally she was so used to keeping everything under control, but at the moment she was done trying to keep up appearances. _It doesn’t matter anyway. Everything is lost_.

“I know you said it doesn’t affect you, but look at you! All of this...It’s clearly weighing on you way more than you’ll ever admit!” Hitch accused, tears welling in her eyes.

“Is that so?” Annie finally stood up, the action putting the two of them uncomfortably face to face. Annie knew she was too close for comfort, but she wasn’t about to back down.

“Yeah. It is, Hitch spoke coldly, "You’ve been so afraid to get attached to others because you were scared of losing them, and now that the world has gone to shit you feel at a loss. Now you know how **they** felt!” Hitch’s voice growled, the tears finally slipping from her eyes.

Annie didn’t have to ask to find out who _they_ were. After all, it was because of their own actions that Eren was now leading this massive army towards Marley. Annie knew exactly what Hitch was talking about, but she wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of it.

“I’d do it all over again if it meant I could see my father one last time.” Annie replied harshly, the words making her feel sick the moment they left her mouth. Hitch’s gaze widened for the briefest of moments before she grabbed at Annie’s hoodie, dragging her until they were only inches apart.

The tears continued to slip down Hitch’s cheeks, but Annie couldn’t help but momentarily marvel at how the freckles decorated her face. If Annie wanted to she could count every single one in emasculate detail. Hitch's pale pink lips quivered with soft whimpers, amplified by the pain held in her expression. 

Annie felt as if a current of electricity ran through her body as she finally dared to look at Hitch’s eyes. The tear-filled emerald green hues shimmered with an unbridled rage that caused every thought in Annie’s head to disappear. At that moment all her previous doubts and worries seemed to wash away. Suddenly Annie felt like _she was wrong_.

“You don’t really mean that, do you?” Hitch whispered, the anger in her voice barely a fraction to what it had once been. Annie could feel her heartbreak at that moment. She remembered back to seeing Marcel getting eaten. Then Marco. And everyone else who stood in their way…

Annie shivered, her eyes refusing to leave Hitch’s. Her mouth went agape as if subconsciously trying to speak words into existence. However, every time her lips moved not a single sound was made. 

Every single second that passed after that point caused the pain in Hitch’s expression to deepen.

Betraying every instinct within herself, Annie pushed forward on her back leg, their lips colliding. A faint trail of citrus mixed with salty tears lightly danced against Annie's pressed lips. It had been brief and chaste, barely a peck registered against Hitch's lips. Annie tried to communicate everything she couldn't with words in that one motion; for a second she thought it worked. Hitch’s expression changed: The anger deflated, a somber resonance instead radiated to the surface.

Annie pulled away, her mind blank once more as she stared at Hitch. Annie's lips parted as if to explain herself, to try and answer the question that Hitch posed, but she found herself still incredibly mute.

Hitch let go of Annie's hoodie and pulled away, not daring to wipe away the tears which stained her cheeks. The same emerald green eyes watched Annie for another moment as if waiting to see if she had anything to say. Hitch sighed in defeat, finally turning away from Annie. “If we have any chance at saving Liberio we’ll need to rest up.” Hitch spoke coldly, pacing over towards the folded sheets. Hitch began to set up the donated blankets and pillows on the bare ground, preparing herself to presumably go to sleep.

Annie decided she couldn’t watch Hitch anymore. She couldn’t answer her properly. She couldn’t face her. Everything was lost. _Maybe I was right. There is no point._ Annie went back to staring out the window towards the night sky, taking sorrowful solace in the devastating sight that likely awaited her on the horizon.

_Why did we have to be born in such a cruel world?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a short chapter but a necessary one. This will be the last chapter that takes place during canon events, as the last two will be (likely) canon divergent, and will be taking place after Chapter 139.
> 
> Thank you for reading, it really means a lot!


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